June 30, 2008
June 15, 2008
Hint
When you're in the convenience store, and there are 5 or 6 people behind you in line, now is not a good time to purchase 7 different scratch-off lotto tickets using the change from your piggy bank.
June 12, 2008
Boots
Now here is a post about a totally inane topic: boots.
Boots come in all forms and fashions, from hiking boots you lace up to your knee, to combat boots meant to be worn in battle, to the old-style pointy-toed Larry Mahans that the Texas Rangers wear.
I admit this: as a long time, avowed metalhead, most of the '80's I spent wearing Nikes and Kaepas, and I abhorred boots, because that's what everyone around me wore. I grew up on a farm. Boots were for work, and I surely didn't want to do THAT.
When I graduated and went to college, something snapped in me. Suddenly, I was surrounded by people wearing tight black jeans and Vans or Chuck Taylors. I kind of rebelled against this, and started to embrace the fact I was from the country. I broke my boots out of the closet. It's not that I never owned boots before; I always had. But now, I thought about the utility of wearing them. On weekends, I'd come home, and have to do typical farm work. My roomie used to say, "I know you're going home when you put on your boots." And that was the truth. But slowly, even at school, I began to wear them all the time.
I admit I'm not 100% Cowboy...my preferred style is Ropers, preferably Justins. Most people my age who bought them did so to go out two-steppin' to George Strait and Garth Brooks. My musical choices have always been on a much more extreme level (see the below Opeth post). But boots just have seemed more practical...no need to tie laces, and they go with everything from jeans to a suit.
Well, my sophomore year in college was when I bought the first pair of boots with my own money. Justin Ropers, brown, $80. Worth every penny. I wore them everywhere, to every class. One summer I was working for my dad, and I noticed the sole was starting to peel away from the upper. I told my dad, "time for new boots." He asked me, "John, where'd you get those boots?" I said, "Dad...I've had these boots for nearly 8 years!" And this began an epic of teasing for the next 15 years or so where my dad would tell me, "I didn't ask you how long you had those boots."
Anyway, he took me to a boot shop, and they stitched up that thing in about 15 minutes, and my boots were good as new. Those were good boots. One time, we were setting a fence post, and my older brother (I have no reason why) came up to me and said, "you think those boots could stop a BB?" And then, without hesitation, he pumped a pellet rifle about 8 times and proceeded to put the muzzle directly on the top of the arch of my right foot and let it go.
The BB went through the leather, but my skin and sock stopped it. It didn't break the skin, but there was a bruise from the end of my toes to my ankle for two weeks. The only indication something had happened was a little hole in the top of my boot.
That was the beginning of the end for my "college boots." I'd started working at a health food store, and had been promoted to assistant store manager, and they were my footwear of choice. And now, I had to find new boots.
So I bought a pair of (I don't know the brand) Ropers that were on sale for $39. And they were tight. So I determined I'd break them in. I spent a week wearing them to work, and suffering, before I gave in and said enough. No way they'd break in.
And here is where I get to the crux of buying boots. You MUST buy boots that are wide enough for your foot. I have small feet...there's no getting around that; my mom wears a little girl's 3 1/2 shoe. But small as they are, for their size, they are wide. I have a narrow heel, a wide ball. This is one of the reasons that I wore Kaepas in high school (the double uppers really helped the fit).
So, failing to break in those new Ropers, I vowed never to buy anything but Justins. And I also looked inside the upper and checked the exact size of my beloved old boots: 6 D.
So, a year or so after I took the job at my curent employer, I went to the store and sought out Justin Ropers, size 6D. I figure...they'll fit perfect. They had 'em, although not in brown, but some roughed-up leather finish called "apache." They looked almost like Red Wings. But they fit, so I bought them.
I went back less than a week later, thinking, I need boots for special occasions, and bought the same size in black.
So I had identical boots in black and "apache." These have served me well. And I've had them for damn near 10 years. I wore the apache's much more than the black ones, so the black ones have held up better. About a year ago, I noticed serious wear in the soles of the apaches, which I figured was coming, so I took them and had them re-soled in rubber (they came with leather soles), so that they'd be more comfortable at work. And they came out rather well.
But...Apache is a distressed finish, which is rough, kind of like suede. The guy who re-soled the boots thought mine were just un-polished. So he put brown shoe polish on them, repeated times, and buffed them to a high sheen. But, they were never brown to begin with, and so now they were not exactly Apache, not exactly brown. I tried all kinds of things to get the old finish back, because I really liked it, but to no avail. A few weeks ago, I stepped in a puddle and felt wetness on the ball of my foot; the leather had split there; a result, I think, of the polishing and later cracking of the leather.
Anyway, this meant, of course, that I've been wearing the black Ropers to work. I prefer to wear them for special occasions, so I decided I needed new boots. I dropped off the old Apache's at Goodwill.
And I went to the boot store. Yeah. I live in Texas. We have boot stores.
I was dismayed. I wear size 6D in Ropers. The boot store (unnamed but it's a major outlet) once carried my size, but no longer. The clerk said, "Justin doesn't make 6D Ropers," so I pulled off my boot and showed him the printing in the upper that said "Justin, 6D, Made in U.S.A."
Still, he said, "I think they stopped making that size because people are bigger."
That got me thinking...people ARE bigger. The amount of leather it took to make my ropers probably is nothing to the amount it takes to make Dave Robinson's. But I digress.
The guy was very helpful. He said that I could use the Larry Mayhan website and specify boots to my exact foot shape. Now, that WOULD be cool, only, much more expensive. Then he said, "I think I have smaller sizes in the boy's section."
I am not proud. I stand 5'4" and weigh 110 lbs. I have a 28" waist. I wear boys' underwear, boys' pants, and boys' shirts. So boys' boots? No prob.
I found them in 5 1/2. Apache leather, rubber sole. Apparently, they won't make boys' boots with leather soles. Hell, that doesn't bother me, because I am buying them to work in and I'd have to have it resoled in rubber anyway.
But here's the thing...8 or 9 years ago, I could buy a boot in 6 D that fit me. Now, they don't make it, and the one that fits me is a 5 1/2 boy's size. I know I am not shrinking...is everyone else still growing?
Boots come in all forms and fashions, from hiking boots you lace up to your knee, to combat boots meant to be worn in battle, to the old-style pointy-toed Larry Mahans that the Texas Rangers wear.
I admit this: as a long time, avowed metalhead, most of the '80's I spent wearing Nikes and Kaepas, and I abhorred boots, because that's what everyone around me wore. I grew up on a farm. Boots were for work, and I surely didn't want to do THAT.
When I graduated and went to college, something snapped in me. Suddenly, I was surrounded by people wearing tight black jeans and Vans or Chuck Taylors. I kind of rebelled against this, and started to embrace the fact I was from the country. I broke my boots out of the closet. It's not that I never owned boots before; I always had. But now, I thought about the utility of wearing them. On weekends, I'd come home, and have to do typical farm work. My roomie used to say, "I know you're going home when you put on your boots." And that was the truth. But slowly, even at school, I began to wear them all the time.
I admit I'm not 100% Cowboy...my preferred style is Ropers, preferably Justins. Most people my age who bought them did so to go out two-steppin' to George Strait and Garth Brooks. My musical choices have always been on a much more extreme level (see the below Opeth post). But boots just have seemed more practical...no need to tie laces, and they go with everything from jeans to a suit.
Well, my sophomore year in college was when I bought the first pair of boots with my own money. Justin Ropers, brown, $80. Worth every penny. I wore them everywhere, to every class. One summer I was working for my dad, and I noticed the sole was starting to peel away from the upper. I told my dad, "time for new boots." He asked me, "John, where'd you get those boots?" I said, "Dad...I've had these boots for nearly 8 years!" And this began an epic of teasing for the next 15 years or so where my dad would tell me, "I didn't ask you how long you had those boots."
Anyway, he took me to a boot shop, and they stitched up that thing in about 15 minutes, and my boots were good as new. Those were good boots. One time, we were setting a fence post, and my older brother (I have no reason why) came up to me and said, "you think those boots could stop a BB?" And then, without hesitation, he pumped a pellet rifle about 8 times and proceeded to put the muzzle directly on the top of the arch of my right foot and let it go.
The BB went through the leather, but my skin and sock stopped it. It didn't break the skin, but there was a bruise from the end of my toes to my ankle for two weeks. The only indication something had happened was a little hole in the top of my boot.
That was the beginning of the end for my "college boots." I'd started working at a health food store, and had been promoted to assistant store manager, and they were my footwear of choice. And now, I had to find new boots.
So I bought a pair of (I don't know the brand) Ropers that were on sale for $39. And they were tight. So I determined I'd break them in. I spent a week wearing them to work, and suffering, before I gave in and said enough. No way they'd break in.
And here is where I get to the crux of buying boots. You MUST buy boots that are wide enough for your foot. I have small feet...there's no getting around that; my mom wears a little girl's 3 1/2 shoe. But small as they are, for their size, they are wide. I have a narrow heel, a wide ball. This is one of the reasons that I wore Kaepas in high school (the double uppers really helped the fit).
So, failing to break in those new Ropers, I vowed never to buy anything but Justins. And I also looked inside the upper and checked the exact size of my beloved old boots: 6 D.
So, a year or so after I took the job at my curent employer, I went to the store and sought out Justin Ropers, size 6D. I figure...they'll fit perfect. They had 'em, although not in brown, but some roughed-up leather finish called "apache." They looked almost like Red Wings. But they fit, so I bought them.
I went back less than a week later, thinking, I need boots for special occasions, and bought the same size in black.
So I had identical boots in black and "apache." These have served me well. And I've had them for damn near 10 years. I wore the apache's much more than the black ones, so the black ones have held up better. About a year ago, I noticed serious wear in the soles of the apaches, which I figured was coming, so I took them and had them re-soled in rubber (they came with leather soles), so that they'd be more comfortable at work. And they came out rather well.
But...Apache is a distressed finish, which is rough, kind of like suede. The guy who re-soled the boots thought mine were just un-polished. So he put brown shoe polish on them, repeated times, and buffed them to a high sheen. But, they were never brown to begin with, and so now they were not exactly Apache, not exactly brown. I tried all kinds of things to get the old finish back, because I really liked it, but to no avail. A few weeks ago, I stepped in a puddle and felt wetness on the ball of my foot; the leather had split there; a result, I think, of the polishing and later cracking of the leather.
Anyway, this meant, of course, that I've been wearing the black Ropers to work. I prefer to wear them for special occasions, so I decided I needed new boots. I dropped off the old Apache's at Goodwill.
And I went to the boot store. Yeah. I live in Texas. We have boot stores.
I was dismayed. I wear size 6D in Ropers. The boot store (unnamed but it's a major outlet) once carried my size, but no longer. The clerk said, "Justin doesn't make 6D Ropers," so I pulled off my boot and showed him the printing in the upper that said "Justin, 6D, Made in U.S.A."
Still, he said, "I think they stopped making that size because people are bigger."
That got me thinking...people ARE bigger. The amount of leather it took to make my ropers probably is nothing to the amount it takes to make Dave Robinson's. But I digress.
The guy was very helpful. He said that I could use the Larry Mayhan website and specify boots to my exact foot shape. Now, that WOULD be cool, only, much more expensive. Then he said, "I think I have smaller sizes in the boy's section."
I am not proud. I stand 5'4" and weigh 110 lbs. I have a 28" waist. I wear boys' underwear, boys' pants, and boys' shirts. So boys' boots? No prob.
I found them in 5 1/2. Apache leather, rubber sole. Apparently, they won't make boys' boots with leather soles. Hell, that doesn't bother me, because I am buying them to work in and I'd have to have it resoled in rubber anyway.
But here's the thing...8 or 9 years ago, I could buy a boot in 6 D that fit me. Now, they don't make it, and the one that fits me is a 5 1/2 boy's size. I know I am not shrinking...is everyone else still growing?
June 05, 2008
Review: Opeth - Watershed
Opeth:
Mikael Åkerfeldt, vocals and guitar
Martin Mendez, bass guitar
Per Wiberg, keyboards
Martin Axenrot, drums
Fredrik Åkesson, guitar.
Produced by Mikael Åkerfeldt and Jens Bogren
So, it's been three years since Ghost Reveries, and Opeth has changed a little, personnel-wise. The thing we all wanted to know was if the sound of Opeth changed, and if it's still Opeth.
Well, it's still Opeth, but the sound has changed. All in a good way. This is far and away the most progressive thing they have done, and again, it's a good thing. Per Wilberg's keyboards are much more integrated, Fredrik Åkesson (formerly of Arch Enemy) adds a shredder's mentality to a lot of the solos, and Martin Axenrot, I'd already seen what he could do from live videos. It's not the classic Blackwater Park lineup, but it's as good, maybe better.
What can you say about a band that's never had a bad release? Consistent, for sure. Actually, almost god-like. I'm a big fan of progressive music, and yet even I have found some releases by my favorite bands, Rush and Dream Theater, to be uneven. How can Opeth consistently put out challenging material that really moves the listener? I think the real answer lies somewhere in Mikael Åkerfeldt's brain. He's really the man behind all of this madness. But the truth is that he does a fantastic job of integrating quality musicians into the band and making sure their contributions add something to the whole.
Let's face it...there is not a better rock/metal/prog, whatever you want to call it, band on this planet today.
So how good is Watershed? Here's a track-by-track review. I've had 4 listens and on my 5th now, so I think I can actually do it some justice now.
1. Coil. Acoustic ballad. Very unlike most Opeth albums that start with the death metal up front and then sneak in the softer stuff later on (with the exception of the all-clean Damnation). It would fit nicely on that album, actually. Good counterpoint from the bass on this one. The chorus is haunting, and interesting choice to go for the resolution at the end of it to the major key. Nice guest female vocalist. Really nice song, the kind of thing that fans of Damnation would go for. But hardcore Opeth fans should not be disappointed, because this song lasts all of 3 minutes, and then we get to
2. Heir Apparent. Opens heavy, little keyboard interlude, very delicate, and then your head gets crushed with some of the heaviest chords Opeth has ever recorded. Mikael Åkerfeldt's growl comes back, perhaps the most brutal it's ever sounded. Midway through, we are treated to the real contribution of Fredrik Åkesson to this mix, as he throws down a truly shredding solo, then the acoustics come in, and we hear soft flutes over this. Nice change of pace. Then it comes in heavier than even before (if that is possible). Not a single clean vocal on this song. It's all brutal death growl. The weird, off-kilter rhythms are handled nicely by Axenrot.
3. The Lotus Eater. Starts off with Mike humming, and then, comes in heavy, but with clean voices interspersed with death growls. This song....totally prog, but that's coming up. Tempo change, then into a section that sounds almost Dream Theater, were it not for the keyboard sounds, which are far more King Crimson than that band. Mellotron sounds...always do that. Brief Mellotron interlude, then back to the meat of the song, and yet there's still more this song gives you...at 5:48 here comes the really cool stuff...proggiest thing they've ever done...counterpoint keys, then the final chorus, and finally you're done.
4. Burden. This is by far the most King Crimson-style track on the album, mostly made so by the Mellotron, and a melody that, at least to me, evokes "Starless" from Red. Here, Mikael Åkerfeldt's vocals are really at their most heartfelt. Very good song, not heavy, but very progressive, sort of like another outtake from Damnation. As that is my previous favorite Opeth album, this is, of course, a good thing. Wait for the Hammond B-3 organ solo...ohhhhh. The ending may put some people off...it's just a little classical guitar playing the same part over while someone is detuning it, then Mikael Åkerfeldt's evil laugh at the end. I like those kinds of things, though, and it doesn't detract from how kickass this song is.
5. Porcelain Heart. This is the first single, and the video I've seen really cuts it up too much. You lose a lot of what makes the song great by editing it for mass consumption. I understand the reasoning; I'll just choose to listen to the full song. It's better.
6. Hessian Peel. At almost 11 minutes, this is the longest track on the album. It's worth it. Verses with lots of Mellotron swells. Lots of actual orchestration by real violins, as well. Midway comes the fun, with truly heavy parts and growls we've grown accustomed to. This is the song where Martin Axenrot really shines. His fills on this song are just out of this universe. I wouldn't be surprised to find out he's got a third arm hidden somewhere.
7. Hex Omega. Very spacey, lots of changes, lots of keyboards, but there are still plenty of heavy parts to sate the diehards. Ending with a chord where a pipe organ ends it all.
Bottom line: There will be some who will be disappointed that this isn't another Morningrise or Still Life, but those people need to move on and understand the the point of being progressive is to progress. And Opeth has, on every release, seemingly getting stronger all the time. I think this is their most progressive album to date, their most diverse release. I'd hesitate at this point to say it's as great as Blackwater Park, but it is great. It's a fantastic collection and I think it will only get better the more I listen to it.
10/10.
C
May 03, 2008
BSG: The Road Less Traveled.
1. Kara's crew mutinies and it looks like they're going to abandon the search for Earth and go crying back to Adama. Pussies.
2. Tory sleeps with Baltar again.
3. Baltar reaches out to Chief. Chief takes his hand. Homosexuals rejoice.
4. Not one scene of Adama or Roslin. Good. Their relationship is getting horribly sappy.
5. Not one scene with Apollo. Good. Tired of his being manipulated.
6. WTF? Helo is Kara's #1 ally....and then he's the one who instigates the revolt. He went from having doubts but doing his duty regardless, to being the evil mastermind behind the mutiny.
7. Felix is a Cylon. He's the one stirring up Kara's crew. I find him to be the most likable character on the show, and then in the last two weeks he's become Mr. Asshole. Can't take orders from a girl, Felix? Dipshit.
8. Baltar's message is spreading, but nobody important really cares. So says Tory.
9. Chief shaved his head, and now he looks exactly like Private Pyle in Full Metal Jacket. This shows promise. Maybe R. Lee Ermey will show up as the 12th Cylon model. One can dream.
10. Tory's schnozz is huge. Girl's body is super-hot, but they indulge in a profile shot of her like 7 times in every scene she's in...and I can't help but notice how huge, and crooked, her nose is. Chief, punch her for me. Maybe you can break it back into place. God, her booger vacuum is enormous. Aren't the Cylons supposed to be perfect? How could they have screwed that up?
2. Tory sleeps with Baltar again.
3. Baltar reaches out to Chief. Chief takes his hand. Homosexuals rejoice.
4. Not one scene of Adama or Roslin. Good. Their relationship is getting horribly sappy.
5. Not one scene with Apollo. Good. Tired of his being manipulated.
6. WTF? Helo is Kara's #1 ally....and then he's the one who instigates the revolt. He went from having doubts but doing his duty regardless, to being the evil mastermind behind the mutiny.
7. Felix is a Cylon. He's the one stirring up Kara's crew. I find him to be the most likable character on the show, and then in the last two weeks he's become Mr. Asshole. Can't take orders from a girl, Felix? Dipshit.
8. Baltar's message is spreading, but nobody important really cares. So says Tory.
9. Chief shaved his head, and now he looks exactly like Private Pyle in Full Metal Jacket. This shows promise. Maybe R. Lee Ermey will show up as the 12th Cylon model. One can dream.
10. Tory's schnozz is huge. Girl's body is super-hot, but they indulge in a profile shot of her like 7 times in every scene she's in...and I can't help but notice how huge, and crooked, her nose is. Chief, punch her for me. Maybe you can break it back into place. God, her booger vacuum is enormous. Aren't the Cylons supposed to be perfect? How could they have screwed that up?
May 01, 2008
If I were Dictator
Rachel Lucas and John Hawkins tackled this question today, and I liked some of their solutions. Rachel says it should become a meme. I aim to help her by posting my answer to the question.
2. Designate every May 1 as "Beat the Crap out of a Hippie Day." It would be the one day when public beatings would be allowed.
3. Build a wall identical to the one portrayed in "Escape From New York" at the border. Complete with the guard dogs, attack helicopters, and armed guards. Unfortunately, Lee Van Cleef is dead, so appoint Dick Cheney head of the Border Police. Anyone who actually manages to get across has shown the kind of fortitude and guts it takes to be an American citizen, and will be immediately sworn in. While we're at it, not a bad idea to build the same kind of wall around San Francisco.
4. Instant execution of everyone on Death Row by firing squad. Think of the money this would save.
5. Waiver of "animal cruelty" laws for anyone accused of doing such to cats. Cruelty to cats should be encouraged.
6. Make Leo Fender and Les Paul's birthdays national observances.
7. Nuke Tehran. Let the Syrians know they're next. Then, nuke Damascus.
8. Force the NCAA to have a playoff system to decide a national champion in football.
9. From this day forward it will be illegal to insult, through ejection of bodily fluids, or to assault by physical means, any person currently on active duty with the forces of the United States military, punishable by a towel party thrown by 10 U.S. Marines.
10. Make cowboy boots with business suits mandatory attire for all members of the Legislature.
1. Edit the 2nd Amendment to the following: "The right to keep and bear arms shall not be infringed. Ever. Period. Seriously, we mean it."
Question: Suppose you were elected Temporary Supreme Dictator of America.What are 10 laws you would pass/repeal or government programs you would create/tear down? (Assume that you are in office for however long it would take to do these five things and that any changes you make will remain in place after you leave office.)
2. Designate every May 1 as "Beat the Crap out of a Hippie Day." It would be the one day when public beatings would be allowed.
3. Build a wall identical to the one portrayed in "Escape From New York" at the border. Complete with the guard dogs, attack helicopters, and armed guards. Unfortunately, Lee Van Cleef is dead, so appoint Dick Cheney head of the Border Police. Anyone who actually manages to get across has shown the kind of fortitude and guts it takes to be an American citizen, and will be immediately sworn in. While we're at it, not a bad idea to build the same kind of wall around San Francisco.
4. Instant execution of everyone on Death Row by firing squad. Think of the money this would save.
5. Waiver of "animal cruelty" laws for anyone accused of doing such to cats. Cruelty to cats should be encouraged.
6. Make Leo Fender and Les Paul's birthdays national observances.
7. Nuke Tehran. Let the Syrians know they're next. Then, nuke Damascus.
8. Force the NCAA to have a playoff system to decide a national champion in football.
9. From this day forward it will be illegal to insult, through ejection of bodily fluids, or to assault by physical means, any person currently on active duty with the forces of the United States military, punishable by a towel party thrown by 10 U.S. Marines.
10. Make cowboy boots with business suits mandatory attire for all members of the Legislature.
April 28, 2008
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